Correct, correct, correct...

You Know You're Getting Old When..

Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
You feel like the morning after when you haven't been anywhere the night before.
You don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go along.
It takes twice as long to look half as good.
People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
You look for your glasses for half-an-hour, then find they've been on your head all the time.
You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."
You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
The little gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
Younger women start opening doors for you.
Your medical expenses go up 50%.
A 'late night' now ends at 11 pm.

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