Blame the Victim Syndrome

Met a few friends for lunch yesterday. I was eating through ½ way when one of them interrupted me. The conversation went like this:

Miss X: Hey Woon, I heard you lost your handbag to a snatch thief. How did it happen?
Me: Oh! I was getting into my car. I noticed 2 men on a motorbike behind my car. Suddenly one of them opened my passenger car door and snatched my bag from my shoulder…
Miss X: Why did you not lock your car when you get into it? Me, everytime I go into my car, I lock it without waiting for the automatic locking. Me, I don’t carry a handbag on my shoulder…see… even when I am in the restaurant, the handbag is on my neck. I also do not carry a lot of money…he..he…you know I have only RM30 in my bag now.. You know, you people make yourself so tempting for the snatch thief…

She went on and on…I lost my appetite! Fortunately I had an excuse to leave early.

Why am I held responsible for what happened to me ? Hey…I am the poor traumatised victim, remember?

Why? Why must people hold the victims responsible for what has happened? Why must the victims be derogated? Rape victims are often blamed for their “sexy” attire, a women found murdered in a hotel room was blamed for being of loose morals for having gone to the hotel room with the murderer...so it was a case of “she asked for it”, people who are mugged are often told they should not have taken unnecessary foolish chances.

Can we have more compassion for the victims instead and understand how they feel?

Benefits of exercise

Went for a brisk walk alone today without my regular walking partner who is abroad. I actually owe it to Nor for being able to keep up a regular walking routine because it is definitely more interesting to walk with a friend or a group.

We often hear that the greatest benefit to health is obtained by changing from a sedentary lifestyle to doing just 30 minutes of activity a day, such as walking, bicycling, step climbing etc. I find that brisk walking as a form of exercise provides health benefits that cannot be obtained in any other way and actually helps with my mood and state of mind.

Some of the benefits of exercise (Source: http://www.depression-guide.com/depression-and-exercise.htm)

People have reported that, when they exercise, they can think more clearly, feel happy, feel better about themselves, lose weight, develop strength, and enjoy a sense of well-being.
Exercise increases positive mood
Exercise helps people to sleep better
Those who exercise have less nervousness and anxiety
Exercise decreases negative mood
Exercise improves vigor
Exercise is effective in reducing stress, anger, fatigue
Many evidence proved that exercise plays a vital role in uplifting depression
Exercise improves motivation and self-esteem in a person
Many people even report that they look and feel younger when they exercise regularly.
Exercise may help in increasing the feelings of coherence
Exercise increases the feelings of social integration
A study concluded that medication may produce quicker relief but exercise yields more long term benefis.

Some Good quotes !!

One is not born a woman, one becomes one. Simone DeBeauvoir

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. Zsa Zsa Gabor

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. Charlotte Whitton

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. Laurie Kuslansky

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man - if you want anything done, ask a woman. Margaret Thatcher

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home who answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night. Marie Corelli

Behind every successful woman is a cleaner and a nanny. -- Unknown

Source: http://www.c-boom.com/women_humor.htm

Yummy Peanuts!

There was an old man whose family could no longer afford to take care of him. So the family decided that a nursing home for the aged would be appropriate.

Of course the old man rejected the idea, but no sooner he was convinced that it was the right thing to do. On his first day at the home, he spent most of his time laying in bed reflecting on life, feeling lonely. A while later, an orderly stopped by to see how the old man's first day was going.

"How you doing today?", she said to the old man, "First day I see". The Old man replied with a nod.

In no time the two began talking up a storm. As the conversation began to drag on, the orderly was eyeing the room filled with fresh flowers, cards and balloons from friends and relatives. She noticed a bowl full of peanuts sitting on top of the table next to the bed, and help herself to a handful.

As the two continued to converse with each other, the orderly kept eating more helpings of the peanuts. She look at her watch and noticed that nearly 2 hours had passed and said, "My goodness, the time has gone by quickly. I have to tend to other people here too." "That's okay.", said the old man, "I feel so much better being able to talk to someone." Looking into the bowl the orderly said, "I feel awful! I ate almost all of your peanuts!" The old man responded, "That's okay. Ever since I got these false teeth, all I could do was suck the chocolate off of them anyhow."

Source: http://www.ahajokes.com/age44.html

Sharing tips with other senior women

Don't stinge on spending money (within our means, of course)to improve our own comfort, health and quality of life. We do deserve it!

Keep our bodies active, join an exercise group, dancing group if you like to dance, gardening,not to difficult to do a brisk walk just 1/2 hour a day, travel, even window shopping.

Keep our minds active, read, do crosswords, sudoka, blog :), write a book? write our memoirs?

Maintain good nutrition (we certainly need it!) but eat in moderation.

Socialise, seek out friends, have a good laugh.

Relax, do not worry unneccesarily (Still a challenge for me!)

If somebody unintentionally hurt us, forgive him, it is not important; if somebody intentionally hurt us, forget him, he is not important!

Whatever we do, enjoy it!

Anybody wants to add to this list?

Forgot my Rose

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's
house, and after eating, the wives left the table and
went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking,
and one said, "Last night we went out to a new
restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend
it very highly."
The other man said, "What is the name of the
restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said,
"What is the name of that flower you give to someone
you love? You know... the one that's red and has
thorns"
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned
towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name
of that restaurant we went to last night?"

Source: http://www.jibjab.com/view/1003

Long Time Friends

This evening joined seven old friends for dinner. I first got to know them in 1961 when my family relocated from Parit Buntar to Petaling Jaya and I continued schooling in MGS Kuala Lumpur. Wow! That's a good 47 years ago!

"Among Life's precious jewels,
Genuine and rare,
The one that we call friendship
Has worth beyond compare"
~ author unknown

It is not an achievement to make a thousand friends in a year, but an achievement when you make a friend for one thousand years.

Elderly Gentleman

An elderly gent was invited to his old friends' home for dinner one evening.

He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife

with endearing terms-Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc...

The couple had been married almost 70 years, and clearly they were still

very much in love. While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over

and said to his host, "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years,

you still call your wife those loving pet names." The old man hung his head.

"I have to tell you the truth," he said, "I forgot her name about 10 years

ago."

Source: http://iranscope.ghandchi.com/Fun/gentleman.htm

Death risk higher for elderly women who lose weight

From: University of Maryland Medical Center

Death risk higher for elderly women who lose weight, says University of Maryland School of Medicine study

Elderly women face an increased risk of death if they lose weight or are underweight, according to researchers at the University of Maryland School of Medicine. Elderly women of average weight who lose weight may be at greatest risk.

The six-year study, which appears in the December issue of The Journal of the American Geriatrics Society, involved 648 Baltimore area women between the ages of 65 and 99. The women were interviewed and weighed at their homes once a year for three years, and were followed for another three years.

The risk of death was highest for women with an average body mass index (BMI), who then went on to lose weight. These women were nearly four times more likely to die than women who either maintained their weight or gained a few pounds during the course of the study. A weight change of 4.5 percent or more from one year to the next was recorded as a gain or a loss.

"Our findings run contrary to the popular belief that losing weight always makes you healthier," says Matthew W. Reynolds, M.S., of the School of Medicine's Department of Epidemiology. "We believe doctors should pay close attention to weight change in older women because it could signal potentially serious health problems."

The risk of death was the lowest for elderly women who maintained an average BMI over the six-year study period. Thirteen percent of these women died, compared to the group's overall death rate of 16 percent. The death rate was 22 percent for elderly women who began the study with a lower than average body mass. For the heaviest women, the death rate was 18 percent.

"This work has some very important implications for older women and their health care providers because weight changes are relatively easy to monitor," says Jay S. Magaziner, Ph.D., professor and interim chair, Department of Epidemiology and Preventive Medicine and director of the division of gerontology at the University of Maryland School of Medicine. "Even small changes should be taken seriously."

The study found that weight fluctuation also appears to increase mortality for women over the age of 65. "Fairly minor weight cycling-from five to eight pounds for a five-foot, five-inch woman-is associated with a significantly increased risk of death," says Magaziner.

Regardless of a woman's initial BMI, investigators found that losing weight always increased the risk of dying. "Dieting or trying to return to an "ideal" weight may not be the best recommendation for older women who are not obese," says Reynolds. "It is possible that maintaining body weight may actually help keep you more robust and healthy later in life."

Investigators cautioned that their results do not explain the reasons for the increased death rates. The study took age, income, smoking habits and alcohol use into consideration, but the cause of death for these women is not known. Reynolds says interviewers tried to screen out women with serious pre-existing health problems, but he says some illnesses may have gone undetected, accounting for some of the weight loss.

This article comes from Science Blog. Copyright � 2004http://www.scienceblog.com/community