Quiet moment with the family

Family picture taken on Hari Raya 2012 on 19 August 2012
L-R standing: Daughter Fedelia, elder son Feris, second son Farouk, daughter-in-law Azni
L-R seated: Zahari (Azni's Father), Sharma (Azni's Mother) and yours truly.

The family is a haven in a heartless world. ~Attributed to Christopher Lasch

It gets harder and harder for him everyday

My 101 year old father having his breakfast after his normal stressful and restless night.  A record of his last 2 nights went as follows:

13 August:  Woke up (to ease himself) at 9.30pm, 10.30pm, 12.00am, 1.30am, 2.30am, 4.15am, 4.50am, 5.25am, 6.00am
14 August:  Woke up at (to ease himself) at 10.05pm, 10.30pm, 12.00am, 1am, 1.55am, 2.10am, 4.10am, 5.15am, 6.00am

Even though I was in attendance he almost fell down several times. It is so sad to see him taking like ages to get from point A to point B within  the same room, most of the time stubbornly refusing to be supported.  As it gets harder and harder for him everyday we feel more and more helpless and distressed.  

It breaks my heart to see him just a shadow of his former self

After taking care of my centeranian Father for only one day, I realize it is a full time job. Although he is not incontinent, he can only sleep continuously for about an hour to an hour and a half at night.  When he wakes up he needs help to sit up, he needs help to walk the short distance to the toilet and he needs to be helped to lie down on the bed again.  When he is alseep I cannot sleep soundly as I keep on worrying whether he had awakened and needs my help.

If the maid does not return from her 5- week holiday in September I may have to locate night nursing care.  Much as I am happy to take care of him as he is my Father, this task may be difficult for only one person.

It breaks my heart to see him just a shadow of his former self, to see him having to struggle to walk, even to sit down, to stand up or to eat and drink.   

I hate those chirpy sayings about aging - that age is just a state of the mind, that “60 is the new 40″, that  “80 the new 60″, etc, etc.  What would they say next, "100 is the new middle age" ?   The hard reality is, old age is a time of loss and decline and we as children (who are also growing old ourselves), with elderly parents, can only do our best to care for them while not neglecting our own health too.

Some years ago (24)

Date of entry: 23 September 1948

From page 4 of the Malayan Tribune Sept 23, 1948

Woon/Joon Sang Chew