天下乌鸦一般黑

天下乌鸦一般黑
Literal: Crows everywhere are equally black.
Meaning: Bad people are bad no matter where / when you find them because a person's nature rarely changes 

A new rhythm in our relationship

At one time, he worked and provided for us singlehandedly while our Mother looked after all our needs singlehandedly at home. A lot has changed since then.  Mother had passed away nearly 14 years ago at age 85 after being ill and kind of bed-ridden for about 2-3 weeks due to kidney failure.  Father is now almost 101 years old, already weak, hard of hearing and although still mobile and still able to look after his own hygiene, he definitely needs someone to see to his daily needs. 
   
Immediately after Mother passed away I offered Father to stay with me, but he was, to say the least, 'abhored".  He is comfortable in his own home where he had stayed in since 1961 and he likes his independence.  For the past 14 years we were very lucky because we managed to hire a lived -in maid to look after his needs. 

The maid will be going home soon for a month's holiday.   Sister and I are actually not looking forward to replace the maid during the one month because of the adjustments we have to make to our daily routine.  Looking at him just now I felt guilty for feeling this way.  I must think of a way to make it a positive experience for both him and me. 

"Everyone ages... Age creeps up on us as we go about our lives. One day mom and dad are robust, and, suddenly or gradually, they are not. One day we are robust, and then we are not... 

Caring for a loved one who is elderly, ill or disabled brings with it a complex set of emotions and issues, as does being cared for. As roles change and children assist an elderly parent who once cared for them ... a delicate dance begins... As roles shift, each person must cope with the loss of the familiar role and establish a new rhythm in their relationship".

Extract from Caring for loved ones and ourselves is a delicate dance by Karen Freitag

Pleasurable nostalgia

As I grow older I feel that reconnecting to relatives,old friends and making new friends had become more important and enjoyable. Events where relatives and old friends can meet had become sources of pleasurable nostalgia and with greater freedom to relax and less interference from the demands of work, there are more opportunities to bond with new friends.

Some years ago (21)

Date of entry:  13 July 1948

What do I actually want to do?  I am already 30 plus but I am still uncertain.  There are opportunities, I must admit.  So, what am I waiting for?

By Woon/Joon SC

Ha...ha....

George Burns quotes:

• Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
• Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
• By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it

Bob Hope quotes:

1. She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
2. You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
3. Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle!

The bond that endures

I was at my Father's house yesterday on Mother's Day.  Sister and I talked a bit about Mother, basically comparing Father with Mother.  While driving home I thought a lot about my Mother.  

I can never forget the fact that it was Mother who gave me the support to apply for a place in University.   After completing Form 6 (that was 45 years ago) my Father had encouraged me to work.  I remember he showed me an advertisement for a Cadet Journalist position with the New Straits Times and asked me to apply.  Probably he was worried that he would not be able to support me as well as my 3 younger brothers through university. 

At that time I had already got hold of an application form for placement in University Malaya.  I was therefore hesitant to apply for the job and at the same time I dared not apply for a place in the university.    I filled up the form in pencil, photostated all the necessary supporting documents and placed it in the drawer.  But everyday I would take it out and look at it.   After about one week my Mother waved me to one corner of the house and whispered "You want to go to university right?".  I nodded.  "Then apply" she said and she took out the form from the drawer.  "Where to get money to pay the fees?" I asked.  "Don't worry, I'll see what I can do" she said.  Although it is almost 14 years since she passed on, I still miss her a lot. 

Unconditional love

"A mother’s job is probably the most laborious in the world, often comes without a Manual, and once appointed, there is no such thing as turning back or throwing in the towel. Once a mother, always a mother!

From morning sickness to labour pains, a mother’s worry for her child ceases only with her last breath. Sacrifices she makes often come unrecognised, undervalued and often, taken for granted.

Her sweat was probably dry before you could even notice it. Her burnt skin from the kitchen was probably forgotten. Her tears went unseen. Her sleepless nights unrecorded. Her fatigue, unmentioned.

But yet, a mother’s love will always stand strong like a flame that burns despite all odds. This is the real meaning of “Unconditional Love”. Untainted. Come rain or shine".

Quote: Sairana Mohd Saad in what-am-i-without-you-mother

She got a new nose after 33 years!

Rakhi, who is from a small village in Gujranwala (in Pakistan), was married off to Ghulam Baksh when she was just 13. Belonging to the same clan, Rakhi, like most rural women, had no say in the wedding. She was regularly subjected to domestic violence.  Rakhi was 19 and already a mother of two — a boy and girl, when her husband chopped off her nose!  Her children grew up with their mother’s face always covered with a little cloth patch on her face and a veil on top of it at all times.  Now 33 year later Dr Hamid Hassan took up the challenge of constructing a new nose for her, using flaps of Rakhi’s skin. 

Read full article Violence against women: Years after he cut off her nose she smiled to spite his face

Girls'Day out!

Four things a woman should know:
How to look like a girl, How to act like a lady, How to think like a man, And how to work like a dog.
Author Unknown

This is torturous!

Sushi class with Meng Foon, Melissa, Shirley and others 

Sushi Chef painstakingly showing us how to do it

Samples of sushis made by the Chef

The 2 trays infront made by Me!

Hey..so proud of our self-made sushis!!