Kuala Selangor rendezvous

Today was Father's second trip outstation.  This time we had Brother TK, his wife and daughter Fatim for company.

Pictures of Bukit Melawati 

Scenes at the Pasir Penampang Chinese fishing village

Taking a short break at a Kopitiam 

Visited Mother's grave site at Meru, Klang on the way back

Port Dickson rendezvous

Father seemed very restless when I visited him on Monday.  He talked energetically and loudly about wanting to move out,  he gave some reasons and a proposed an alternative place for himself to stay, he said, until he dies.  But what he wanted is not logical and we could not fully understand why he made the proposal. Anyway, to distract him I asked whether he wants to visit Parit_Buntar or Sabak_Bernam where we had stayed before for quite many years when he was assigned there.  He said, "No...no point..."  (and very unexpectedly) he said, "but can you bring me to Port_Dickson?" 

Several times in the past I had offerred to take him on driving tours but he had always turned me down.  Now, that was a surprise.  Anyway, today we had quite a successful trip to Port Dickson.  We left about 9.45 am and were back by 2.30pm.  He was generally calm and well-bahaved during the journey and seemed to be happy at the beach.    This would be his first 'long' trip since Mother passed away 14 years ago.  I will try to get him to go out more often

 

Sis's admirer at the back!  he...he...

 

  

We vowed our true love

"Oh, how we danced on the night we were wed
We vowed our true love though a word wasn't said
The world was in bloom, there were stars in the skies
Except for the few that were there in your eyes.
The night seemed to fade into blossoming dawn
The sun shone anew but the dance lingered on
Could we but relive that sweet moment sublime
We'd find that our love is unaltered by time."

- lyrics to "The Anniversary Waltz," composed by Dubin/Frankl

Nephew Ooi Jin and Evon officially husband and wife! 

Groom's family members anxiously waiting for the group photo to be taken

Bride's family getting ready for group photo



The very lovely Evon, my new niece-in-law.  Welcome into our Woon family! 

Feeling of despair

Caring for Father in my house for 5 weeks last month made me realize that caring for an aging parent is the most difficult thing one could ever endure, more mentally than physically.

He has lost a lot of weight. A once very healthy man who was very much into sports and physical activities, had now shriveled down to a a shadow of his former self. He has also now become incontinent and has to go to toilet every half hour, at most, every hour. He refuses to wear diapers or use the urinal so I had no option but to give up almost all my sleep as his legs are so weak that he has to be accompanied each time to the toilet.  His frequent trips were not only tiring for me but put a strain on him too. 

The most difficult part for me is not the sleep deprivation but the feeling of helplessness and frustration. I feel angry that this is happening to someone so close to me. I feel helpless and a lot of guilt for not being able to give him the best, not able to make him better, not able to give him back some of the quality of life that he deserves. He is making the motions, but his quality of life is no longer.



Father and Mother, taken in front of our then new house in Petaling Jaya in 1961.  That would mean he was 50 and Mother was 49 when this picture was taken, most likely by the late Mr Tan who was an avid photographer.

 






With his best friend the late Mr. Tan when Tan visited our then new house in Petaling Jaya in 1961

In this picture he could have been in his late 50s

Judging from the age of his first grandchild this picture could have been taken in 1974 when Father was 63

 

Judging from the age of his little granddaughter then, this picture could have been taken in Perth in 1983, which means Father would have been 72 and Mother 71 

Now that Father has gone back home as the domestic helper who looks after him had come back from her holidays, I am relieved of having to care for him. But I cannot for one second stop feeling the despair and frustration.

 

activegoldengirls

Changed back the name of this blog to 'activegoldengirls' today, on the request of friends.  They think the new name was too serious for me and the original name activegoldengirls is more appropriate as it somewhat reflects me.  Really? he..he...  So "thoughtsandreflections" lasted only 10 days!

There were always in me, two women at least, one woman desperate and bewildered, who felt she was drowning and another who would leap into a scene, as upon a stage, conceal her true emotions because they were weaknesses, helplessness, despair, and present to the world only a smile, an eagerness, curiosity, enthusiasm, interest.”
― Anaïs Nin

War traumatised children of Syria

I read this report by Save the Children several times today.

http://www.savethechildren.org.uk/sites/default/files/images/untold_atrocities.pdf

The report, published by Save the Children, is a collection of testimonies from children living in refugee camps on the  borders of Syria which depicts a most disturbing picture of the horrors and extreme atrocities that children have been through in the conflict in Syria. 

For those of you too busy to read, let me highlight a few of the testimonies:

*Khalid 15 years old said, "They hung me up from the ceiling by my wrists, with my feet off the
ground. Then I was beaten. I passed out. I passed out from the severe pain of hanging like that, and from the beating.  They took me down and threw cold water on my face to wake me up. Then they took turns stubbing out their cigarettes on me."

* Wael, 16 years old recounted "These children were too weak to even cry. They just lay on the floor. They were also subjected to repeated beating with sticks, worse than us. I knew a boy called Ala’a. He was part of that group. He was only six years old. He didn’t understand what was happening.  I’d say that this six-year-old boy was tortured more than anyone else in that room. He wasn’t given food or water for three days, and he was so weak he used to faint all the time. He was beaten regularly.  I watched him die. He only survived for three days and then he simply died. He was terrified all the time. They treated his body as though he was a dog".

 

Moussa 15 years old said, " There were hundreds of us in prison – I was in a big cell with the other children. The youngest ones were nine or ten, they had been captured. I was beaten up every day, and they used electricity too.  In prison, when someone died, they kept hitting the body. There were dead bodies in my cell too – they’d been there for a long time and they stank. They were decomposing – there were maggots. Eventually, they threw me out. They carried me out on a blanket. I couldn’t move".

 

Anti-Assad Syrian groups claim close to 2,000 children have died in the conflict so far. In July, a British-based group called War Child said the Syrian conflict is “disturbingly unique” in the deliberate targeting of children, citing reports of hundreds of children being detained by the regime.

source: christemmanuel.org

source: rightnow.io

source: dailymail.co.uk

Feeling like a hero!

Today I actually feel like a HERO!  Several weeks back there was a break-in at one of the houses down the road on my street. My street, Street 13, is the last street in this small housing area.  The 2 thieves broke into the house through the back upstairs window and they were caught on CCTV.  However, they were both wearing caps and their faces could not be seen.  The CCTV recording showed them climbed up the downspout, then went down, disappeared for a few minutes, then they came back, climbed up again and then finally came down the second time with the loot. 

The CCTV recording was shown on our residents' association facebook page.  The Committee members who had analyzed the recording were baffled where the theives went during their disappearance before they came back to climb up again. 

I too saw the CCTV and the 2 guys looked kind of familiar, particularly their physique and the way they dress.  Several months ago I saw them walking along the main road of our housing area at about noon.  When I saw them, they were walking as though they were going home. I remember them because when I drove past them I made a mental note that it was odd that these 2 men should be walking around when they should be in their office working.

I called up the Secretary of the Residents' Committee and gave my 2 cents worth.  What I said was that I have seen 2 persons in our housing area looking quite like the 2 guys in the CCTV recording.  I also said that these 2 persons could be staying at either Street 12 or Street 13 because when I saw them, they were already reaching the end of the main road.  The Secretary then said that this possibility is very high because then the tape recording made sense.  He speculated that they must have failed to open the window the first time and had come down the downspout to go back home to take the necessary equipment before climbing up again. 

The Resident Committee, the security and the police then worked along this angle and investigated quietly for several weeks.  Early this morning the thieves were apprehended by the police at one of the houses on Street 12.  Apparently they are renting a house on street 12, a few doors away back to back from the victim's house. Today on facebook the Secretary commended me for having given the "first clue" which led to the arrest of the 2 "rats".  I can't help feeling like a hero!  ha..ha...  Anyway I am glad I contributed in a small way.  The Committee and the Security must have worked very hard to have the case solved. TQ RA, security guards and also the police. 

Always a silver lining behind every dark cloud

Yesterday while chatting with two dear old friends over coffee we asked each other this question “if you were to die tomorrow, what advice would you leave behind for those who will live after you?”  

My good friend A said, “I will tell them to be always kind to people because kindness of the heart is the most important quality in life.” I can’t agree with him more.  Another friend B said “I will tell them to study hard and work hard in order to get the most out of life.”  I totally agree with her there too. 

When it came to my turn, without hesitation I said, “I will tell them always to be happy even in the face of adversity.  Sometimes horrible things happen to you, like some people break your heart or betray you horribly, forgive them because things always happen for a reason and there is always a silver lining behind every dark cloud”.         

My two friends immediately responded, “That’s your own experience eh…?  Well said, well said”.  Then I realized indeed it was and how strongly I feel about it.  I suppose we are all molded by our experiences.   

If someone betrays you and at that time that may cause you much pain and seem so unfair and so horrible like you have come to the end of the world, , forgive him/her, because better things will happen your way (easier said than done, it normally takes time, for me it took some years).  Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, let go of the past, create your own life then live it in your own way, better than before!