A life lived for others

Today on the long drive with Fuziani to Kuala Selangor to buy fish, we started talking about our Mothers, both of whom had passed away, her's in 2003 and mine in 1998. When she asked me what I remembered most about my Mother, I told her it is my Mother's selfless devotion to her family. I gave her an example.

There was one year when my Father got quite sick. I was still in primary school. He had quite bad diabetes and had to go to the Ipoh General Hospital regularly, about 2 hours drive away from Parit Buntar (a small town where we used to stay) to get his regular insulin jabs. Then my Mother learnt from an old Thai lady about a small wild plant which could cure diabetes.

Mother used to walk out of town to the fringes of the jungle to harvest the plant at least once a week, most of the time bringing her children with her. She painstakingly plucked and washed the leaves, pounded the leaves into a paste and cooked the paste with a whole big piece of meat on low heat for several hours. When it was done, she would take out the meat and serve the paste to my father. But each time, 2 hours before she served my father the paste she would take 2 tablespoons herself first. Why? I asked her. Do you also have diabetes? I still remember her reply "if nothing happens to me within 2 hours, then I will give father the paste".

Actually, she was never sure whether the wild plants she harvested were the right ones and she was afraid that Father may be poisoned and die. What if you die? I asked her. Her answer was" it is better for me (rather than father) to die because I do not earn money. Your Father has to live to earn money to bring you all up". Even though I was still small and could not fully appreciate her selflessness, I had never forgotten what she said. Also my father was actually cured with the paste.

Fuziani was amazed. Would you have done the same? We asked each other. Neither she nor me gave an answer...

Only a life lived for others is worth living - Albert Einstein